Kanjibhai Rughani

A fighter, a hero, a king, a legend, the list goes on. Recognised and respected by so many. A father of 7, husband to the beautiful late Kamlaben, grandad of 17 and great grandad of 5. He is Kanjibhai Rughani. For those of you that don't know him, he is my Nana (mum's dad) and my inspiration.

Sadly, on 17th October 2020 I lost my Nana, at 91 years of age, to a stroke. I cannot begin to express the pain I felt, and still feel. I decided to write a post on him as not only is he my inspiration, but my relationship with him made me realise how sometimes we take certain moments and people for granted.

I lost my Baa and Dada (dad's parents) when I was a baby, so for the majority of my life, the only grandparents I had was my Nana and Nanima. Looking back to when I was younger, I feel as though I didn't appreciate having grandparents as much as I should've. Although I did have so much love for them, being young I was selfish and so consumed in my own life that I made minimal effort towards them, even if it was just a phone call. I didn't realise the importance of building such relationships and creating valuable memories.

My Nanima passed away in 2013. In the last conversation I had with her, I called her and she said 'aje hu tane yad ayvi?' which translates to 'today you remember me?' It was never often I saw or spoke to her, so it really hit me when I lost her and I regret so much not making more effort to see or speak to her or Nana. Even though my Gujarati wasn't great, I still wish I did more to spend as much time with them as I could and cherish every moment.

Fortunately, last year I was able to travel to Dubai with my masi, cousins, nephew and my Nana to celebrate his 90th birthday. It was during that week I built a strong bond with him. I want to thank my Meena masi, my cousins Janki and Hemal, brother in-law Rishi and cute nephew Yuvraj. If it wasn’t for the Dubai trip or any of you, my relationship with nana wouldn’t have been the same. I am so grateful for all of you for giving me a memory of a lifetime.

I always knew my Nana was a caring, selfless man and on this trip I was able to see this side to him along with his funny and cheeky side. I remember we met some other family members out there and he told them I was 42 and trying to find me a husband. I got so upset thinking he doesn't remember who I am (as he did suffer from mild dementia) and the past few days we had been there he thought I was just some 42 year old lady who has tagged along on the trip. I then looked at him and he was laughing, playing a trick on me! In this one week, I captured so many beautiful moments and created so many amazing memories which I will always cherish. Although I wish I made more memories like this, I am still grateful for the time I did spend with him and the relationship we built. Not only did I create a loving grandad-granddaughter relationship, but I created a friendship. It is moments like this we take for granted. Life really is short, please appreciate and spend time with your loved ones because we won't get times like these back.

Nana, you were such a hard working, successful and strong man. At the age of 87, you were still continuing with your distribution  business, lifting heavy boxes. It is amazing to say that up until a few months ago, you had never seen a hospital. At the age of 90, you fell and had to undergo two surgeries, we were all so worried but you fought and started to heal so well and so quickly. Even though you were in so much pain, you continued to laugh and smile with us. You truly are a soldier.

Though you had the stroke on the 13th, and were only on 10% oxygen, you still stayed strong and stayed with us for a few more days, after all your children and grandchildren said their goodbyes. No matter what challenges came your way, you overcame them without a struggle. No one will ever be as strong as you Nana. You have done so much seva (selfless service) and touched so many hearts, which you probably never realised because you were so humble. Thank you for being our leader and inspiration, we will forever look up to you. Although it hurts to see you go, you will reunite with our beloved Nanima whom you loved so dearly.

This post no way near justifies how incredible my Nana was, but I am so proud to say that I am his granddaughter. As we have all said Nana, your legacy will continue to live on through us and you will be missed so much. I love you.

Nanima, such a beautiful, loving and caring woman. I am sorry that I didn't make the effort to see or speak to you more but I hope you do know how much love I have for you. I am grateful for the times we spent when you used to come home and stay / I came to stay with you. I miss you so so much and I always think of your beautiful face and contagious smile, I love you.

Baa and Dada, it is so upsetting that I wasn't able to have any memories with you. But from what people have said, I know you were both great people. I hope you are looking down on me and I am making you proud, I love you both.

The love of grandparents is unconditional. Some people don’t even have grandparents, so if you do, please do not ignore the importance of them. They play such a crucial role in our lives and have so much love, wisdom and support to give. Spend as much time with them as you can and don’t take those moments for granted. 

Lots of love,

V x