The key to happiness

As said in the title, in this post I will be sharing what I believe is the key to happiness. I decided for this to be my first post as it is one of my most important life lessons. It is something which I will keep referring to throughout the blog because it helped me get to where I am now. Though some things may not make sense, I'm sure as I keep posting content it will become clearer. However, if you do have any questions, please feel free to send me a message via email / insta DM and i'll be more than happy to answer!

Over the years, more recently 2020, I have learnt that the key to happiness is self-love. My 2020 has involved a lot of reflecting, and I found that had I understood and practised self-love earlier, I would have been a different person and handled things better. Saying that, I don't regret anything I have been through because it has made me see now (better late than never) how self-love can benefit your life instantly in many ways and that it truly is the key to living a happier life. We all have a different view on what happiness means to us, for me it is living a simple life and being content with who I am and what I have.

I feel as though when people hear the term 'self-love' it is associated with loving ourselves for the way we look. For a while, I thought this, and focused on changing certain things about my appearance trying to make myself 'beautiful', thinking it would make me love myself and be happier. But self-love, is much deeper than that. It isn't about having the clearest skin, best hair or healthiest body (FYI these do not define beauty), these are just the side effects that come about when you love yourself wholly. Self-love involves loving yourself for your mistakes, your achievements, your failures, your insecurities, your past, and everything else about you. It is loving yourself on the inside and the outside, loving yourself for being YOU, loving your soul, mind and body. Going deeper than the skin and improving ourselves within, automatically reflects how we look on the outside.

We find it so easy to put ourselves down by focusing on the negatives, instead of lifting ourselves up and looking at the positives. At the end of the day, no-one is perfect. We all have a past, we all have insecurities and we are bound to make mistakes. But one thing we shouldn't do is continuously look at those and instead learn from them. If we continue to live in the past and focus on things we cannot change, we will never move forward.

There was a point in life where I lost myself, I forgot my worth and found myself become someone I wasn't. I remember having a deep conversation with my cousin, and she mentioned how I was always smiling and gave everyone hugs. That's when it really hit me. I wanted to get back to being that person and being happy.

For so long, I would question, how did I get here? Why do I feel this way? Why am I continuously making the same mistakes? I knew I wasn't happy but I never really addressed the issue and in future posts, i'll explain more about what led me to that stage. But the main lesson and answer to all my questions, was that for the majority of life, I put so many people before me that I neglected myself. I was too busy giving love to others, that I forgot to love myself. I would see the good in others and find it in my heart to forgive them but not myself. It was for this reason I was always so hard on myself and let myself get to that low point.

But after a couple years of healing from my past and finally putting myself first, although I have not reached full self-love, I am getting there. Instead of looking into my past, analysing every detail and creating more pain for myself, I have accepted everything for what it was. That is the first lesson, acceptance. Although I was not proud of some things, I see them as lessons and use them to better myself everyday. I see the negatives and turn them into positives. The second lesson, growth. To this day, I continue to work on myself not for anyone else, just me. Being an insecure / weak person, I am learning to become stronger and have been practising self-love to help me. The process isn't easy as it's like a battle with your mind, but time is the biggest healer.

I cannot express enough the importance of self-love. When I say it is what healed me and made me a more happier and positive person, I really mean it. I have to give a shout out to Vex King's Good Vibes, Good life. This book is what taught me self-love and made me realise how important it is. I won't go into detail about the book now as it deserves its own post, but I really recommend it for anyone who is going on their own journey to finding happiness. I will also be sharing other methods that I believe helped me and are a good practise of self-love.

A final message, remember that happiness comes from within. People come and go, things come and go, but you will always have your own company. Focus on being content with yourself, before looking for happiness elsewhere. The worst thing we can do is depend on others for happiness, I have been there but realised it was only short-term. If you want long-term happiness, find it in yourself. Trust me, it is there.

You are beautiful inside and out, you are amazing, your past does not define you and every mistake is a lesson. You are growing and moving forward, the only time you should look back is to see how far you have come.

Life is too short, be happy and stay happy.

Lots of love,

V x